Award-winning author Melody Maysonet joins Zibby to discuss WHAT WE WISH FOR, a poignant, heartbreaking YA novel centered on Layla, a 15-year-old girl who finds herself living in a homeless shelter with her alcoholic mother—and hides the truth from her friends. Melody, who is now 18 years in recovery, opens up about her own experience with alcoholism and reflects on how her struggles and triumphs helped shape Layla’s story. She also talks about the therapeutic writing process and the challenge of making Layla’s mom a sympathetic character and balancing her novel’s darkness with hope.

Transcript:

Zibby: Welcome, Melanie. Thank you so much for coming on Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books to discuss What We Wish For. Thank you so much. 

Melody: Thank you for having me. 

Zibby: for having me. I was just so taken with your book. And I know it's billed as, you know, for younger readers, but I didn't feel like I couldn't read it.

I loved it. I really loved it and think that grown up readers should also read it, um, because it does affect a mom. It's just from a kid's point of view, which I found really interesting. So why don't you tell listeners what your book is about and, and all of that? 

Melody: Okay. So, well, what we've wished for is kind of like a genie in the bottle story.

You know, like, I was always attracted to that type of story. What happens if you get everything you wish for? And so that was kind of the underlying premise. But it's about this 15 year old girl named Layla who's recently had to move into a homeless shelter with her mom. And her mom's an alcoholic and doesn't seem to be doing well.

They've been there for about a month, and Layla's scared. She's scared her mom won't see her. Stay clean. She's scared. Her mom will never find a job that she'll just keep screwing up and she's also mortified by her circumstances because you know, she's 15. She's in high school and she tries to portray this aura of I don't care what you think of me.

I'm emo. I write poetry. I'm cool. But the fact is she does very much care to the point where she's lying to everyone, including her best friend. And there's this growing rift between them. And at the beginning of the story, they find out Layla's mom's name is Shauna. Shauna finds out that she only has 10 more days at the homeless shelter.

They're going to kick her out unless she finds a job, and that doesn't seem likely. So Layla hatches this plan to get them out of the shelter by calling her uncle, who's kind of an asshole. He's running for mayor, and he's very wealthy, and the reason they haven't called him before is because he's threatened them.

Like, I'll take Layla away from you. I'll throw her into child services if you ever contact me. me. And so Layla convinces her mom, it's a good idea. She's running for mayor. He's not going to want it getting out that his relatives have been living in a homeless shelter when he could have helped. So Shauna sort of is on board with this idea, but she ends up OD'ing on heroin and almost dies.

But the silver lining is that Layla then gets And here's the genie in the bottle part. Layla then gets to move in with her very rich aunt and uncle and she thinks all of her dreams have come true. You know, they're promising to put her mom into a really fancy rehab and they buy Layla all these new clothes, a new phone.

She hasn't had a new phone in months. And at the same time they're telling her, don't tell anyone that where you were living. So she keeps lying to her best friend. And, um, you know, things aren't always, you know, things are. As happy as Layla thinks they might, they should be, her uncle's a pretty nasty guy, her cousin Celeste, who she now lives with and is in high school is a snotty bitch and her aunt Tanya is a replacement mother figure, but she's pretty damaged in herself.

So it's not all happy, you know, unicorns and rainbows and things like that. And meanwhile, her mom is spiraling, but Layla refuses to see it because she's so caught up in this, I'm trying to be this new person that her. Um, aunt and uncle's wealth allows her to be. So that's the driving force for the story.

Things get worse and worse and family secrets come out and um, it's sort of a coming of age family drama, but it's tragic, but it's also hopeful. 

Zibby: So amazing. And where did this story come from for you? 

Melody: Okay, this is the hard part. Okay. I feel like I'm going to cry. 

Zibby: Okay. You cry, you cry. 

Melody: I'm an alcoholic in recovery and I've been in recovery for about 18 years, but I've kept it secret from almost everybody except for my immediate family until very recently.

I told myself that if I ever got this book published that I was wasn't going to shy away from who I really am with my first book. It was about a girl who was sexually abused and I was sexually abused. And when it came out, I was asked, is this a personal story for you? And I said, no, you know, I totally shied away from it.

This was the, uh, before me too, me too movement. I very much felt the shame and the stigma. And I feel that way too with the alcoholism. But I feel like I wanted to be braver and vulnerable. And so this is me being brave. Not sure what it looks like. Probably a mess. But anyway, there's that stigma attached to it.

So anyway, this is me being braver. It's very personal to me. I've seen families torn apart by addiction. I know what it's like to struggle with addiction, but at the same time, I know the joy of recovery. So that's kind of the, the overall basis. But then the, the characters and the, and the plot took root. A few years ago, I was asked to tell my recovery story at a homeless shelter.

It's one of those homeless shelters, like the one in the book. It's a community and they have education classes and stuff like that. So, and they bring addiction meetings in. And so I told myself, Story at this homeless shelter, and it went well. And I really liked, you know, I felt like I was helping people, so I started volunteering there and it wasn't, I wasn't volunteering to do like addiction stuff.

I was volunteering. I'm, I'm a trained, I'm an English, I used to be an English teacher, so I was teaching pre GED. Grammar English classes there and the director of the shelter took a shine to me. He invited me to their weekly um community meetings and There they introduced new people in the community and there was a mom and her teenage son And the boy's name was Gabriel and if you, Gabriel as a character ended up being a character in the book.

Now I know nothing about this real life Gabriel, but I found myself wondering, you know, what's this kid's life like? Um, does he hate his mom? Is he rooting for her? So all that got me thinking. And um, the protagonist of the book is a girl because I better relate to that, but Gabriel ends up being her love interest in the story.

And the girl is very, Layla is very much based on me. I was very insecure like Layla growing up. My father was an alcoholic and like Layla, we were poor, um, things like having, you know, no book paper for school or hairspray, luxury items for us a lot of the time. And like Layla, I tried to project this attitude of I don't care what you think of me, but I did care very deeply and I felt very much less than.

And I wrote a lot of poetry like Layla as a teen. And in fact, a lot of the poetry that you see, most of the poetry that you see in the book is poetry I wrote as a teenager, little pieces of poems that begin each chapter. I would change a few words here and there to make it better apply to Layla's circumstances, but for the most part, they're, they're poems I wrote as a teen.

And like Layla, I was told by somebody in the English department at my high school that they were too filled with teenage angst, I guess, to be any good, which of course was a blow to my self esteem. But. It didn't stop me from writing them, and I guess, you know, I wrote short stories, I wrote novels, I wrote, uh, poems, but anyway, I, I think it's very cool that these poems that I wrote as a teenager are seeing publication, so that's the inspiration.

Zibby: Oh my gosh, I think it's amazing that you're telling the real story. I think it adds a layer of depth to the novel, and I think your openness is just amazing. Both you as a person and, and the character and all of that is helping is going to help so many people who read it. I think the stigma you feel, and I read lots of, I love books about people overcoming things.

And so I've just along the way, I've read a lot of books about, you know, memoirs about addiction or alcoholism or whatever. And I, I've interviewed a lot of people who feel just so much better when it's out there, right? The corrosive power of secrets is sort of the hardest piece of it. So I feel like this is going to end up being a very positive experience for you. I really do. I mean, I think that it's, it's not easy, but it's, it's obviously important for you and your own development and being sober for 18 years. I mean, that's a huge accomplishment. You're like sobriety as an adult now. 

Melody: Yeah. Yeah. 

Zibby: Wow. In terms of the mother daughter. relationship. Can you speak more to that dynamic?

And do you have kids? Is, what was your relationship with your mom like? Or, you know, how does that all play in? If at all, and if not, don't worry about it. 

Melody: Oh, yeah. 

Well, I do have a son and he was little when I wrote this and I was very much aware that If I ever like if it ever got found out that I was an alcoholic that it could affect his life.

I could just imagine mom saying, oh, we can't go over to Caleb's for a play date because his mom's an alki, you know, that kind of thing. So I felt that stigma. I worked, you know, I let him know that I, You know, I was in recovery and stuff, but I said, you're not supposed to talk about it to your friends and stuff.

So anyway, um, the Shana is very, is based on a lot of people I've encountered in recovery, including myself, um, her struggles and, you know, just that up and down and back and forth and wanting to do good and just, um, Not knowing really how and sort of that chaotic lifestyle. I've seen it over and over and over in people and my heart goes out to her.

I, one of the things I was, I struggled to make her, make sure she was likable and maybe she's not as like, I mean, she went through some revisions to make her more likable because just that chaos of, of, of, of addiction and what it does to you, I wanted to make sure that the readers knew that she loved Layla.

I have a great relationship with my own mother, you know, we were, we struggled financially growing up, but she was always a loving mother. So there's nothing there to delve into. But, um, You know, I, I did mention that my alcohol, my father was an alcoholic and, um, we were never that close. It was more of like a punishing, you know, environment than a rooting for him to get better, you know, I was just, just wanted to stay away from that.

Zibby: So, I feel like your character goes through all the emotions, right? A lot of there and there is a lot of anger in there like there's times when she just doesn't want to forgive Shauna and and it's like, you know, you you're ruining it like you, you know, and you can feel that emotion and like she wants to love her but she's just so mad and I feel like.

That applies to a lot of teenagers and not just for, you know, significant things like this, but even something as silly as, you know, whatever, because teenagers are all just trying to individuate and, but that, you know, push pull of the love versus anger versus self identification and all of that. I mean, you really nailed all that in the writing.

Melody: Oh, thank you. I tried. 

Zibby: Was it emotional for you to write it? Or did it just come pouring out? And how long did it take? And what was that process like for you? 

Melody: It was therapeutic. I will say that, um, just writing from both perspectives of somebody living with an alcoholic and someone being an alcoholic. And I think in that way it made it easier for, to see the anger of Layla, but also the hope, please, please, why can't you get this for God's sake?

You know, everybody else seems to be getting it, but you can't, you know, I've seen both sides of that. And then on the other side of like, I don't know why I can't get it. You know, where's the miracle for me? You know, I've, I've been there too. So I'm always already forgetting the other part of your question.

Zibby: That's okay. I was just asking about the process and how the process. 

Melody: Oh, so yeah, it took me a long time to write. I rewrote it many times. I felt like almost from scratch as I tried to find the story that I wanted to tell. I've been fortunate in that I have a great critique group and, um, You know, they, they hold my feet to the fire when something's not working, they let me know.

So, yeah, it took years to write, years to write. And then once I got it in shape where I thought it was in shape, then, you know, some agents, editors got their hands into it and said, okay, now you can make it even better. I was like, cool. Thank you. But then, you know, ongoing. 

Zibby: Wow. That is, that is how it goes.

It's like the revisions never end until it comes out. How did this differ from your previous book? In terms of the writing process? In terms of the writing process, and even the selling of it, or the emotion behind it. I know you've said. 

Melody: Well, When I wrote the first one, like I said, it was about a girl who's been sexually abused, and it was very personal, very personal, and they're very therapeutic, and it took me even longer to write.

It took me probably about five years to write, and then I think it took me, I was ready to shelve it. And I would, uh, because I had been trying to find an agent, I hadn't found an agent. And, uh, cause it's very dark. It's very, very dark and, and disturbing. And like I said, it was before me too. So it wasn't like out there as a topic, like nobody wanted to touch it.

And I was ready to shelve it. And I went to a mentor of mine, a writing mentor. And I said, I'm just going to, you know, put it in a shelf. And chalk it up as a learning experience. And she said, why don't you like follow up on some of the agents that you had, you know, so I did. And then I immediately, um, got an agent and then she immediately sold it, which was amazing to a small press.

And you know, it didn't sell very well because like I said, but it was a learning process. And I, I S that's one of the reasons why with this book, I wanted to be more honest about who I was because I, I felt like I needed to have agency as a, as the author of the book that this is, there's a reason I wrote this, you know, so it took me, you know, like I said, years to write a lot longer to sell once what once I thought it was like in good shape.

Thank you for Blackstone Publishing Maryland for taking it on because yeah, because it's not an. always easy read. Um, I tend to write like dark things because I had like kind of a troubled upbringing. And so those are the kinds of books that I'm drawn to, but they're not necessarily the types of books that everybody likes to read.

So,.. 

Zibby: Um, I am drawn to those stories also. And I think there is a big audience for a book like, Like this, where you're, you're seeing all the sides of the story, even though it's told from one perspective. I think it's, I think it's really inspiring, honestly. I think the whole story is inspiring and, and even the twists, you know, it's, I think it's propulsive as a you know, from a plot perspective and you know, you're really rooting, really rooting for Leila to overcome and find a way to cope.

Because a lot, you know, a lot of people are trying to cope with things that are out of their control in their families and their upbringing. I mean, so I think you're, I think you're, I, I know I said this before. I think it's going to help a lot of people. 

Melody: Oh, well, good. I, I'm so glad to hear that. Cause that's like in my, my fantasy, you know, I'll write a book that people are, you know, get something out of that.

That's kind of my goal. I mean, my goal is to entertain and I've had some really good training, like workshops and stuff on plot. So I feel like. Yeah. I know how to plot. It's not easy, but I know how. I know it works. So it's gratifying to hear you say that the plot was good with the twists and the turns.

Zibby: It was. 

Melody: Because it's so deliberate. 

Zibby: But, well, I was, you know, hoodwinked into it, you know, like an unsuspecting reader. So, uh, so I thought that was great, too. You know, and also even the, the, the contrasts of wealth and class and, you know, the haves versus have nots and what that does to self esteem. And yeah, like the shopping scene when she's out with her cousin and her cousin's just like, of course you can just have this, this, and this.

And she's like, what? Stuff. So I, I, yeah. I mean, if you, If there were somebody out there who, you know, would need to read this, like, what would your sort of value proposition of it be? Like, how will this help? And I can say something, but. 

Melody: To me, it's like, when I read books as a teen, I was looking for normalcy, like, it's okay.

And see, I'm sorry. 

Zibby: Oh, it's okay. Take your time. This is such difficult terrain. You know, you get a check plus for even trying to discuss, honestly. 

Melody: I, I, those were the books that I was attracted to when I was a teenager, the ones that, you know, were bad things, horrible, horrible circumstances, you know, not normal family lives.

But yet there was always that shimmer, glimmer of hope that, hey, you know. It gets better. And when I was a teen, I never dreamed that I would have the life that I have now. I mean, if someone had told me that I would have the life that I have now, I'd been like, you're kidding. You know, it's not real, but.

But I do. And it's because I make my own future, you know, addiction took me to my knees. I almost lost myself, but I was able to find joy again. And that was all about the hope, you know, even when I was first trying to get sober, I was like, I'm never going to be able to have fun ever in my life again. I'm never going to be able to do this.

Never, you know, but I had that hope because other people told me. So I guess that is what I hope other people would get out of the story that if they're going through something, hang on, you know, Keep trying. There is, you know, they can get better often does. 

Zibby: How were you able to get better ultimately? Was it through an inpatient program or through aa or, it's none of my business.

Melody: I'm supposed to be anonymous. . 

Zibby: Yeah. 

Melody: Um, but not, not inpatient. I, I never went to a rehab, so Yeah, I mean, I, I go to meetings regularly and, um, I help other alcoholics and I'm pretty involved with my. You know, with that kind of outreach and you know, it, it keeps me going and, and I found so much joy and just feel good about myself, about who I am and where my life is going to just feel so much better.

So that, you know, it keeps it, that keeps me going to, I never want to go back to, to that miserable life. I mean, it was taking over everything. It was taking over. I always wanted to be a writer ever since I was a little kid and I tried, you know, and then the drinking got in the way. And then it was a few years after I was.

Sober that I started writing again and it felt so good, you know, so yeah, I wouldn't trade that for anything. 

Zibby: Well, it's who you are, right? I mean, yeah, and I think that's why it comes across so Authentic and so real and so moving and I think I really think you can tell so I think that's I really do. What do you like to read now versus when you were a teen?

Melody: I read almost everything except for romance. Does that make me sound like a snob? I have read the occasional romance, but it's just not my thing. I, gosh, my favorite book, you can see it on my shelf here, is Watership Down. That's the first edition. That's my all time favorite book. I read fantasy, science fiction.

I read tons of non fiction. I love World War II books. You know, the non fiction as well as the, you know, fantasy. Fictional based on history stories. Gosh, I read literary fiction, but what am I, you know, I'm reading a fantasy series right now. It's one of those five book series that has a thousand pages per book.

So, wow. And I read a lot of YA, especially when I was writing YA, I read a lot of YA and I was like, you know, all of these are like so different from what I'm writing. Maybe I should, you Change mine to be more like, you know, the love interest and the, you know, make it a fancy or vampires or whatever. I'm like, no, no, no.

Stay true to yourself. Stay in your lane. So I did. And maybe it'll pay off. I don't know. 

Zibby: Wow. Are you working on anything else now? 

Melody: Yeah, I'm right. I'm working on an adult novel. It's about a, uh, a young woman who works in a diner and she is trying to make, you know, trying to pay her rent and, um, she's got this stalker ex boyfriend who's manipulating her life and she doesn't realize it at first and he, he wants very much to be the hero and her have to come to him for help and things get out of hand and he has some mental health issues and he ends up being very scary and, um, you know, I'm in the rewrite stage.

Again, like the third rewrite, but it's still a little like the third act is still not quite where I'm floundering a little bit, but it'll get there. I'm a slow, as my agent knows, slow, careful writer, but you know, I know it will get there because it's like a driving, Force for me, and do you still teach at all?

Or I haven't in a while since I stopped volunteering teaching there at the homeless shelter. I haven't really taught. I do. The benefits of having a teaching background, though, are that when I do school visits, like a high schools when I've done them in the past, or I've done, like, Workshops and stuff is that I have that training and and that's kind of like teaching too when you present at a high school or or in a library, which I've done both of those.

Um, so that's nice and I did an SCBWI workshop. So I'm like, yeah, I can go into my teacher mode. 

Zibby: Wow. Well, do you have any advice for aspiring authors? 

Melody: Yeah, I would say, um, just educate yourself on the craft of writing. When I first started, like, you know, in my early twenties, I wrote some novels. I'm like, this is great just cause I wrote it.

Right. I, I, I finished a novel, therefore it must be good. No, no, no, no. And, um, you know, I, I ended up reading a lot of books on craft. I took a ton of workshops. I still do, you know, join. Writing organizations, they often have conferences and, and workshops, um, get a critique group and like get that thick skin because that's the only way you're going to get better is to listen to that criticism and, and, you know, use it instead of crying about it, which you can do too.

Then I have, but you know, and rejection is hard, but you have to push through it. So 

Zibby: I get it. Wow. Well, Melody, thank you. I really wish you all the best. I can't wait to shout the book from the rooftops. I think it's really great. And I think it's just really commendable what you're doing. And thank you. I'm glad I got to read it.

Melody: Thank you so much.