I'm Not Supposed to Be Writing This

When John Kenney’s mother died in 1974, the Boston Globe ran her obituary. It was just 74 words long. And they spelled her name wrong.

To the world, she was no one. To twelve-year-old John, she was the center of the world.

After writing his bestselling novel about an obituary writer, I See You’ve Called in Dead, Kenney couldn’t stop thinking about the impossibility of summing up a person’s life in just 74 words. And once he started writing his mother’s story, he couldn’t stop.

I’m Not Supposed to Be Writing This is a son’s reckoning with memory, the mother he lost, and the woman he never got a chance to know. It’s a luminous, powerful memoir about the long tail of grief—the ways it hides, the ways it shapes us, and what it means, finally, to mourn someone fully, even if it takes half a lifetime to find the words.

John Kenney

John Kenney is the bestselling author of two novels and four books of poetry, including Talk to Me, Love Poems for Married People, Love Poems for People with Children, and Love Poems for Anxious People. His first novel, Truth In Advertising, won the Thurber Prize for American Humor. He is a longtime contributor to The New Yorker magazine’s Shouts & Murmurs column. He lives in Larchmont, New York, with his wife, Lissa, a therapist, and two children, whose names currently escape him.

Praise for I See You’ve Called in Dead

National Bestseller * One of NPR’s Books We Love * Editor’s Pick of the Year (Library Journal Audio) * Gotham Book Prize Finalist * Goodreads Editor’s Pick

“Like Matthew Klam, Jonathan Tropper, and Nick Hornby, Kenney has perfected the comedy of the lonely middle-aged guy.”

—The Washington Post

“With the satirical bite of Richard Russo’s Straight Man, the introspection of Fredrik Backman’s A Man Called Ove, and the reinvention of Andrew Sean Greer's Less, Kenney’s vivid prose transforms the mundane into unexpected hilarity.”

—Booklist (starred review)

“Readers get the beauty of Thurber Award winner Kenney’s writing, with descriptions of the everyday that feel like poetry. Book clubs will find much to discuss.”

—Library Journal

“A riotously funny, poignantly introspective novel that dives headfirst into the absurdity of existence. Perfect for fans of dark, heartfelt comedy.”

—Weike Wang, author of Rental House

"I loved this beautiful book so much I couldn't put it down. Funny, charming, and so incredibly moving. I even cried. Ugh. John Kenney, what have you done to me?"

—Gary Janetti, author of Do You Mind If I Cancel?: (Things That Still Annoy Me)

"Kenney is on a rarefied list of writers who can evoke a laugh and make you feel alive.”

—Steven Rowley, author of The Celebrants

“Kenney’s novel will be relatable to anyone who wakes up thinking ‘How did I get here?’ It manages both heartbreaking loss and observational humor, while revealing life’s unpredictable fleeting ecstasies, warts and all.”

—Annabelle Gurwitch, author of The End of My Life Is Killing Me

“Wise, wry, and heartfelt . . . The most life-affirming novel about death you’ll ever read—and possibly the funniest.”

—Jane Roper, author of The Society of Shame

“A fresh take on the midlife crisis narrative that asks bighearted questions about what it truly means to live.”

—Angela Brown, author of Ways to Find Yourself

“John Kenney has the remarkable ability to write characters that are at once hilariously absurd, charming, deeply flawed, cringe-worthy, lovable and just so . . . human.”

—Liz Astrof, author of Stay-at-Work Mom: Marriage, Kids, and Other Disasters and producer of The King of Queens