Actress and film producer Jennifer Love Hewitt chats with Zibby about INHERITING MAGIC, a heartfelt, candid chronicle of her grief and discovering she inherited her late mother’s “magic”—with family photos, recipes, holiday traditions, and foolproof strategies for adding magic to our everyday lives. Jennifer delves into the pain and surrealness of losing her mother while traveling and not being able to say goodbye. Then, she reveals how she makes everyday moments extraordinary for her children, inspired by her mom’s lessons on joy and celebration and her husband's tireless support. Finally, she describes her writing journey—difficult but cathartic—and a potential next project.

Transcript:

Zibby: Welcome, Jennifer. Thank you so much for coming on Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books. I'm so excited to talk to you. 

Jennifer: I'm excited to talk to you. Thanks for having me. 

Zibby: So tell listeners all about your book. 

Jennifer: So it's called Inheriting Magic. It is a love story to my mom and sort of my journey through grief and then finding out, I think my first thought when my mom passed was that all the magic I had known in my life was gone because she was the most magical human.

And then I slowly realized in becoming a mom that I had inherited what she, and sort of what she was doing the whole time was giving me that magic to sort of have when she was gone. And so that's why that's the book title. And then it's just sort of about my magical family and, you know, people hopefully will feel like they know me a little bit better when they're done reading it.

And it's, you know, just something for my kids to have one day when I'm not here. So.. 

Zibby: Well, I definitely feel like I know you a lot better. I mean, I didn't even know you. But even finding out like you taking us through all of your finding out. about each kid and the pregnancy tests and the surprise and all of that.

I was like, I can relate to that. I can relate to that.

Jennifer: Fun. 

Zibby: Your book though starts out on a very sad note when you are separated. You're on your way to Monaco and your mother has been battling cancer, but she's in a good place and then suddenly takes a turn and you have that feeling, which is of course the worst feeling in the world where someone, something is happening to somebody you love and you cannot get there.

That's like what I talk about every night and how that happened to you and so there are such complicated feelings about all of it. Tell me more about that time, if you don't mind. And just that feeling. Oh my gosh. 

Jennifer: Yeah. So my mom and I, we lived across the street from each other. We would have breakfast together most mornings and dinner at night when I was around and could do that.

And uh, We were just, she was a part of my everyday life and when she was diagnosed with cancer, I was very much like, the initial time was shocking and I think, you know, obviously she took the diagnosis the hardest because it was happening to her. And I think I sort of went into, okay, what do we do? How do we fix it?

How do we, you know, kind of get through this together as a family and so I didn't really think sit in it very long. I was sort of her cheerleader and her champion the whole time. And we really did think that we were on the other side of it. And that day before I left, we were kind of planning this big, like cancer... my mom left a party and we were like, you know, planning this party and it was going to be beautiful. And so I just, I, I left for the trip with like this very weird feeling in my stomach, and I always trust my gut, and I did in that day. I really didn't want to go on the trip. But she couldn't go, and she loved to travel, and so she was very much like, please do this for me, and when you get back, we'll go back to planning the party, and it was supposed to be very quick, like three days, four days.

So I let go of that feeling. I got on the plane. And then by the time I landed, there were all these like messages. And I was still very unclear as to like what had happened in that period of time. And then I went to a hotel and they were like, there's no flights out tonight. And I'm like, how do I even possibly sit here?

No. And I never got to talk to her again. Like that was the thing. Like she was not, she was not conscious. She was not in a place where she could talk to me. So I was like, wait, I'm not talking to my person and I'm getting any information. My brother was already traveling. So I couldn't really talk to him.

I was talking to my sister in law. It was wonderful at the time, but it was just very, it was very surreal. And for like, even though I'm an actress, it felt like the most movie moment I had ever been in. Right. I was like, this is like a movie. Like this is not real life. And so then I got the flight home and I remember waking up on the plane and I said to my friend, I think, I think my mom died.

And she was like, there's, don't, don't say that. Like, it's not, that's not, you know, it's not. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no. I was like, I, I feel like something's cut. Like I just, I just feel it. And, um, and again, I kind of pushed that away. And then the one thing that I didn't really put in the book, because this was just sort of, it was hard to write.

I didn't really know how to write it, but my brother had said, I will, I'll be at the hospital when you get there. And I picked up the phone when we landed to call him. And I heard the airport announcement in the back of our phone call. And I was like, my brother wouldn't be at the airport if my mom was alive.

And I knew he had come to get me because I wasn't going to be okay. And so I just like that, I don't really remember anything after that for, for like at least, uh, until we got to her house like two hours later, but I had to go through custom. I mean, it was like a nightmare and, but he was, he was there for me.

He was waiting outside the airport and the press knew. At that time that my mom had passed, like, they had known for hours. 

Zibby: What? 

Jennifer: Like, before I did, which was so weird. And yeah, it was just such a strange, it was such a strange thing. And when I walked into her house, my whole family was there, because that was like how long, you know, the flight was 10 and a half hours, right?

Like, it was a totally different day. So. Everyone was there and they were just looking at me and I remember thinking get out of here. This is not, no, no, like, no, no, I don't want to look at you. I don't want you looking at me. Like, I just want to be here and understand what's happening. But then, you know, obviously, it was lovely to have everyone around and all of that stuff.

But yeah, it was a really, it was a very strange, moment and didn't feel real for a very long time, which is why I think it took me so long to like actually write it down and put it in a book. I think I needed to kind of sit with it for a while and be like, wait, what was that? What happened there? And then I had to decide, you know, for book purposes, like what I was going to put in there and what I wasn't.

And I think I put, I put the, the right version in the book. But it was interesting for sure. 

Zibby: Yeah, sorry. I'm so sorry that happened to you. And thank you. I do like how you in the book, you, you say, no, this is the way it was meant to be. Like you left on a celebrating on an up and that's a nice way to, to re rethink about it.

Right? 

Jennifer: Yeah. It took me a while to get there. It definitely took me a while to get there, but it did hit me one day. I was like, Oh my God, like that is. How, how would I have said goodbye? I wouldn't have. And I don't think she would have either. And so I think that, you know, for, for our, for our connection and our love story, it was the way that it was supposed to end, even though it didn't feel fair at the time.

Zibby: And then you said that you moved houses because just even being across the street was too hard. 

Jennifer: Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was why, and I think everyone around me thought that I had like lost my mind in grief, you know, which, you know, well in grief. Like people start to kind of go, you know, what's happening?

Like, are you okay? And what's going on? But I knew for me that I had like a choice to make. I was like, I, I can either sit here, lose myself. lose myself in grief, look across the street at her house every day, and like, ask myself a lot of questions. Or I can do what I think my mom wants me to do, which is, my mom's famous words would have been, put your big girl pants on and let's go.

You know? And so I did. And I, and I, yeah, I just kind of went to a different part of LA that had nothing to do with her really, and just started a new life. 

Zibby: So I promise we'll get to all the joy and celebration and all that, but tell me more about your mom. I read about her in the book. I saw her pictures.

She seems amazing. Your relationship seems so special, like, that you just sit and, like, held hands with her in the morning. Like, oh my gosh. I'm like, I couldn't even get my daughter to hold my hand today. She's like, didn't even say goodbye to me at school. I was like, what the heck? 

Jennifer: Same. I feel you. My daughter just started middle school and we're in this. 

Zibby: Me too!

Jennifer: Oh, big change. It's a big change, right? 

Zibby: Huge. 

Jennifer: It's freaking me out. I'm like, I find myself like on the verge of tears, like a couple times a day. I'm like, we're changing, we're changing. Um, but it's beautiful and it's, it is what it's supposed to be, but my goodness, it's strange. Yeah. So my mom was, well, the cool thing, and I touched on a little bit in the book again, I didn't, I didn't want to give away too much of her life because that's hers to tell and not mine.

But, but I do think that my mom and her and I are very similar in that, um, I think she found like a magical. In intentional life through a divorce and, you know, some some trauma and pain that she kind of had in her life that in sort of making magic for her Children healed her in that way. And so it's really fun for me that my family.

My grief journey was also done in that way because it sort of connected us in a way that maybe we hadn't done before, even though she wasn't here to see it or she's somewhere watching. But my mom was extraordinary. She literally was like, I mean, She would, if you walked into a room with like 14 famous people and my mother, my mother was the one that they were looking at, right?

Like she was just, she was this light. She never, never knew a stranger in the world. She would dance with anyone. She was really funny. She looked a little bit like Elizabeth Taylor. Uh, she got older. She was like very glamorous and beautiful. Always had a bright lip and you know, her kids were everything.

And she really, She was really extraordinary. Like, you know, if, if she was in, if she was in pain or if she wasn't, you know, in like the ideal time in her life, she would push through it with joy or making joy for other people. And she was very strong. And yeah, she was just, she was great. And she was, she was amazing.

My best friend. And I really think that my life in Hollywood, my story in Hollywood is so different than some of the ones that you hear because of her. She really never left my side. She was with me always. And, you know, from the time that I was like interested in having a dream even come true, she, like championed me and was there and gave up everything to make it happen.

And yeah, she was just, it is like my greatest honor to have known her truly. 

Zibby: Well, thank you for sharing her with the rest of us because she's so special. No, it's nice. 

Jennifer: She would secretly love it, by the way. She loved it. I know she's somewhere going, that's me. That's you she's talking about. I know.

Zibby: Keep going. Talk about it more. 

Jennifer: Yeah, exactly. 

Zibby: No, it's interesting. You, you mentioned about when you were younger and like compare and contrast essentially with other people because there are so many memoirs coming out now about what it's like to be in the public eye growing up and sort of the down and dirty and the, you know, everything related to that.

This book is definitely not like that. This is a pure hearted, like, and not to say, I mean, those books are great too. There's, this is just a very different book. This is about finding. The hope past grief, like getting through it and then essentially getting more out of every single day, right? You are treating every day like a party.

Like every moment is a celebration and you show us through every month, through, you know, every order. And I was like, at the, I was reading, I was like, I hope that she has a list of resources at the end that I can click on because I obviously need to buy this from Target and this from Michael's and like see Stuck up.

But I think there is, that is the whole message of it. It's like celebrate the ordinary, make any day like breakfast for dinner, like just do it up and live it up because we don't have forever. Right. 

Jennifer: Yeah. Yeah. And I do think that part of somebody asked me the other day, there was really so magic, you know, it's been so funny to talk about it.

Cause they're like, so is it a cauldron and a wand? Is it a book? And I'm like, no, it's not that kind of magic. It's an intention. It's like a, It's a thing that you set in the morning where you're like, today's not going to be ordinary. It's going to be extraordinary. And that's just the way it's going to be.

And it doesn't mean that I don't get mad or lose my temper or have a Jerry Maguire moment where I throw things around my house and hate the day or whatever it is. 

Zibby: Thank you for mentioning that you cry in the shower too, by the way. 

Jennifer: Oh, all the time. 

Zibby: Okay. She cries in the shower. I know. 

Jennifer: Yes, I also drink wine and cry simultaneously in the shower because you got to get both done sometimes.

Zibby: Drinking wine in the shower is, that's hard. 

Jennifer: It's lovely. 

Zibby: But doesn't it get diluted? You get the water? 

Jennifer: No, you just, you just have like, you just sit and it's quiet and no one can bother you. Although they still try. And you just have your wine and you cry and then you come out and you're like, Ah, I'm fresh.

This is beautiful. I highly recommend it. I should have put that in the book. Hindsight, another one. 

Zibby: Part two, how to drown your sorrows in magic. 

Jennifer: But no, I do think that like, you know, every day can be special in that way. And I also think that part of it for me is maybe because I was a grown up really young in a business and sort of doing that stuff, maybe, you know, I have that childlike thing about me where I'm like, come on, let's play and have fun and, you know, kind of do that stuff.

And so I do think some of it comes from that, but it's been really fun for our family and fun for our friends. And, you know, I do believe that it's achievable. And when your kids look back on it, That's what they'll remember. They'll remember the silly and the fun, and they'll forget about the frustration or the, you know, the bad moments.

And that's, I feel like, the mom legacy that I want to leave behind, for sure. 

Zibby: I love that. I'm very much like a Party City mom. Like, there is an occasion for Party City. Like, paper plates. 

Jennifer: Yes! Down! Yes! 

Zibby: But you have, like, taken this to a whole new level. So now I have all of your pictures, and like, I literally feel like, you know, it's like a friend being like, oh no no, you can make it better, like, here, why don't you try it this way?

And like, that is your advice to everybody else. 

Jennifer: I hope that people keep the book with them and that's why we kind of wanted to make it a smaller size. We were hoping that somebody would be like, yeah, let's just keep this in the kitchen or keep this on a bookshelf in the living room. And when we feel stuck or we want to feel inspired, we can flip to something and then, you know, make it our own, which is nice.

Zibby: The braces, cookies and everything. I mean, that was so cute. 

Jennifer: I took the rest of those to our dentist and she was so excited. She was so psyched. 

Zibby: There was one other one you did that I absolutely loved. It looked like, um, like beach balls. It was that pattern, but maybe they weren't beach balls, but like, they're like cake pops.

Jennifer: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. For the summer party. Yes. For the summer party. Yeah, they were little beach balls. 

Zibby: They were, right? Okay. Okay. 

But that was also great. I'm like, I haven't thought of that. That's great. 

Jennifer: It was fun. Those are easy and kids love them. 

Zibby: Yeah. So what do you think when you have one of these days, like, and you change the tide of the mood and whatever with your kids, like, does it always work?

And like, is there a way to like, like, do you, cause I feel like sometimes they just be like, okay, yeah, no, not today. You know, like, is there a way to bring it in? Or does it just, does it start from the morning? When you make a magical day, like, are you, do you wake up that way? 

Jennifer: Sometimes. I mean, I try to, I really am like such a weirdo.

Like I really, I really do try either before I put my feet on the floor in the morning or when I'm in the shower. I get a lot done in the shower. Like it's a magical place for me apparently. 

Zibby: This must be like an amazing shower. 

Jennifer: You know, it's not, it's just a normal shower, but for me it's like a vortex of goodness.

But no, I really do try to like, I, I will often say out loud, like. All right, let's go and make today magical and we'll like, you know, kind of figure it out. And not all the time does it work. Sometimes everybody's in a bad mood and we, you know, don't get to it or work changes and, you know, something happens.

But I'll try to sprinkle in something you know, magical when we can and we try to do it as much as possible. Um, like yesterday was a classic example of something not working out. My friends, my daughter's new friend was coming over. We missed her birthday last week. So I was like, I'm going to make brownies, but I'm not going to make them from the box.

I'm going to make them from scratch. I'm going to make chocolate fudge sauce to go with it. I'm going to put the candles in. So I had like Halloween decor in the thing and it said I'm in my spooky era. And it looks like, you know, Taylor Swift. So I like did the table up and I put it all out. Not realizing that I was in a rush and did not let the brownies cool before I put the candles in.

And so all of the wax melted into these brownies and this sweet girl, just like, she was like, it's okay. They're still going to be good. And I was like, you know what? They are going to be good. And I was like, and you know what happened? I was like, the wishes that we made for you melted into the brownies.

We have to eat them. And I was like, we just got to eat. So we just ate them with our hands. We made sure we didn't get like gold foil from the candle and like, you know, and we just needed a thing, but something about it felt so special. And her mom sent me a message this morning. It's just like, I have to say my daughter gave me the best compliments.

She said that mom makes me feel like I'm just one of them, nothing fancy about her. And I was like, Nope, not when you're eating wax and brownies. Not so fancy, but you know, we made it a thing and it was good, so it was okay. 

Zibby: I have to say, my mom makes like really great brownies, and she once said to my sister in law, she was like, one day, I'll give you the recipe.

And I was like, Mom, you make Duncan Hines brownies, but you put chocolate chips in them. What? This is not even a recipe!

Jennifer: It's like Phoebe with the Nestle Tollhouse. 

Zibby: Yes, yes. 

Jennifer: Do you remember that? 

Zibby: Yes, oh my God. 

Jennifer: Oh, so good. 

Zibby: Oh my gosh. Um, okay, so, so why did you decide to write a book? Like, why, and why now? I mean, I know you've processed grief with your mom and like in that.

Yeah. But like, why, and why this? And did you think about writing like a tell all, like, type of memoir? Like, did you think about only doing, like, a beautiful coffee table book, only with, like, balloons? Do you know what I mean? Like, do you? 

Jennifer: Yeah. I mean, I think a lot of people, I've had a lot of people be like, yeah, write a memoir.

And I'm like, eh, I don't know that those stories need to be out there. And I also am very protective of, and maybe that's because I'm written about a lot in my life. I'm very protective of, like, just because it was my story and my takeaway from that moment doesn't mean It was that for that other person, you know, so like I never want to go and tell a story about someone and and and then have the takeaway be wrong or, you know, more my feeling than like an act, you know, it's just it gets muddy and I have really wanted to honor my mom in some way. And I started this brand called the holiday junkie, which is like my happy place of all the things that I love throughout the year that are like decor and fun and joyful and you know, kind of all those things. And so I was like, how do I kind of honor my mom in that way? How do I do this?

And then I I'm at the age now where I'm realizing that a lot of people around me are starting to have. grief, like starting to lose parents or husbands, even wives in people like that. And, and we're in a time in the world, obviously, where there's so much grief going on that I was like, maybe, maybe my story of coming out on the other side of it in a magical way and it almost sort of blessing me the freedom of like, truly just living. Life to the fullest in hopes that when my time comes one day, I will have no regrets, right? And I will have gone, Oh, but we had a good time. We had a good time. And they're gonna remember that we had a good time, you know, maybe that is what I need to say to people.

And so that's kind of how the book started and, and, and I was like, Oh, and this is also maybe a really good chance 11 years in when I started writing it to just let go of another layer of grief. And I knew that writing the first part of the book was going to be really hard. And it was like, it took me forever because I would just like sit and sob and I had like Santa lights at my desk and I'd be like, what did we get down today?

I'm like, nothing. Not much, not much, but deep feelings. Magic, magic. It was awful, but I really got through it. And when I got through it, I was like, Oh, I honored her, you know? And I think because like, going back to that day was like the press knowing about it before I, I never could say anything about it.

Like I could never find the words or people wanted to know, like what my thoughts were on losing my mother. And I was like, I don't know how to explain that to you. I don't, I don't know. And so this was my chance to say, okay, this is how it was to lose my mother. And now this is how I move on from losing my mother.

And, and so it just felt like the right book and it felt like the right thing. And I also felt like it was a really nice gift to my children and my husband to sort of be like, this is our little magical life and it's important and it's special and it's worth sharing with other people. You know, um, and the kids have loved it.

They feel it's, they, we just got the hard copy copies of it, like last week. And the baby sits with it on the floor and he goes through and he goes, that's me. That's my birthday. And then Atticus goes, and that's my brother. And they like, look at it. And they can't believe they're on the cover and they love it.

My daughter actually read some of the first part about my mom that she didn't know and she had to like put it down. She was like, I didn't know this about Mimi. And she was like, this is hard. And I was like, yeah, it's, it's hard, but you know, you can pick it up another time. So it's been good. I think for, for us, it's been like another, another healing thing for us as well.

Zibby: That's amazing. It's like a, it's like a yearbook for your family. 

Jennifer: Yeah. Yeah. It's nice. 

Zibby: I call my mom Mimi too. Your husband, by the way, came across so well, like your new wedding ceremony in the backyard. I was like, Oh, that would never occur to me. Like, like you're like breaking in the new house, like let's get married, renewing our vows with the kids.

Like, that's so sweet. 

Jennifer: It was really fun. He loved it. It was a good surprise. He's a really, he's a really good guy and you know, I would have never thought that like love story would have started in such pain and in such a weird version of who I was at the time because I really was so changed but the way he handled it and how there for me he was and my family really for all of us it was beautiful to see and I and I do believe that you know he was gifted to me from her a little bit in some special way.

So yeah. 

Zibby: Oh my gosh. That's so amazing. Will there be any like follow ups to the book? Are you, are you hooked on it now? 

Jennifer: I am sort of hooked on it. Yeah. I would love to do like a teen book for like how to find magic in the midst of all that kind of chaos with all the hormones and the heartbreaks and the, you know, all that stuff.

I think that that could be really fun to do. And yeah, I already like, definitely, even as I've been talking about the book a little bit, I'm like, why didn't I put that in the book? Um, I've been taking notes and writing it down in case I want to do another one, but I was just really grateful to do this one and to have it coming out and have people care about it at all.

For, for you to care about it is amazing that's insane to me. Thank you so much for the love and kindness that you've shown it. And I mean, you know, I don't consider myself a real writer by any stretch. You're a real writer. Um, so it's really nice to be recognized in that way. And you know, yeah, it's, it's, it's special.

It's, it's a really cool time for, for me and my little fam. And I do feel like my mom is watching and, and really happy. 

Zibby: So nice. By the way, a real writer in air quotes is at one. It's anyone who can put out a vulnerable version of themselves. And that's what you did. That's what it takes. It doesn't matter what the word is or the sentence structure, like, that's not what makes a really powerful book.

It's what you say and how you say it, so. 

Jennifer: Thank you. I appreciate that. 

Thank you. 

Zibby: Anyway, I mean, not to say the sentences weren't good, but you know what I mean. 

Jennifer: Yes. I had hope with those because, by the way, there were some that maybe some people should not see. I did send them to my friend Nicole and be like.

This feels wonky. And she's like, it's wonky, it's wonky, yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe you can write that one. And I'm like, okay. 

Zibby: Well, it's a, it's an accomplishment and it's a tribute and it's, it's, and it's, it's inspires people to live a happier life. And how great is that? A little bit of joy goes a long way. So thank you.

Anyway, congratulations. Thank you so much. So excited. You'll be doing an event at Zoe's Bookshop and I hope I'm there, but if not. 

Jennifer: I know. I hope time. Hope you too. We'll meet up, but if not, I'll take lots of pictures and we'll please. Lots of love and I can't wait. 

Zibby: Yeah. 

Jennifer: Thank so much. 

Zibby: Alright, thank you. 

Jennifer: So fun.

Bye. 

Zibby: Thank you. Bye bye.