Zibby is joined by New York City’s premier “house call veterinarian,” Dr. Amy Attas, who takes us into the exclusive penthouses and hotel rooms of the wealthiest Manhattan pet owners in her heartfelt and hilarious new book, PETS AND THE CITY. Dr. Attas describes her 30-year career and shares anecdotes from her most memorable home visits, including when a dog swallowed his owner’s blue pills… She expresses her love and dedication to her work and even shares some practical advice for pet owners.

Transcript:

Zibby: Welcome, Colombe. Thank you so much for coming on Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books to discuss swimming in Paris, a life in three stories. 

Colombe: Thank you so much to read this book and to welcome me at your podcast. It's a great honor. 

Zibby: You're welcome. I said already, I speak a little bit of French, but I will not do that now because it is embarrassing.

Anyway, Swimming in Paris. Beautiful, beautiful book. Oh my gosh. I really, really enjoyed it. Tell listeners about the book, about the stories that you chose, and we'll just go from there. 

Colombe: Thank you so much. Thank you. 

Zibby: Tell us the inspiration for the book. 

Colombe: You know, it was strange to write this book because sometimes, you know, you have a literary project, you think about it, and this time, I didn't think about it before.

I had to write these stories. I didn't, and I wrote them quite quickly. For instance, the first story about the abortion I had when I was 17, the day before I began to write it, I had no clue I would write about this because I had an abortion maybe 30 years before, and I never told anyone and because I read, uh, an interview with the French Nobel Prize writer, she was talking in an interview about the way that, um, women, when they have an abortion like me, they never say anything.

And because of that, because they feel shame, the, this freedom can disappear. And I felt that she was pointing shame and guilt, a finger at me saying Colombebia had an abortion when you were 17 because of this law, you were able to fulfill the life you wanted to have and be a student and, and travel and work and be the mother when you were ready to be a mother, but you never acknowledge this abortion and this, and this fight.

And I said, oh, well, I have to do something and also, and write it and tell the world I had this abortion. And also she said, when, um, she published an account about the abortion she had in six season France, whence was illegal. And she's the one she publishes book reviews and bookshop considers. This was a small book.

This is not as very important subject and she thinks this is a country. This is the event of my life. It changed everything and I have to write about this. And for these two reasons, I came home, I sit in my bed, like I'm writing now, like I'm speaking to you today. And I began to write for a few days, not stopping.

And this is I wrote the, the, the, the first Seventeen story. And honestly.. 

Zibby: Let's talk about the first story for a minute, because it was very powerful. Not only did you write about your feelings about what happened in the past, your relationship with the boy at the time, and this crazy scene how you saw him at the reunion and like barely even talked, you know, you didn't even talk to him.

And more than that, um, as well was, it was about your parents and about how you grew up and sort of this liberal French mecca of intelligentsia and, you know, no rules and just the way you grew up as like a mini adult, right? Like nobody would, we would never, like my, my kids are about to be 17. My twins, like the idea that they were often about doing what you were doing. It's like horrifying, but I know I'm kidding. I'm kidding. But to have all those grown up experiences, right. And all of that at such a young age and to make a decision and feel unsupported, particularly not unsupported, but your mother in particular, just never spoke of it.

Talk about that whole feeling and what it has meant to carry the secret with you for so long. 

Colombe: Well, It's a whole scene. The scene 70s, in the middle of Paris, a very nice neighborhood, wonderful apartments. The decor is very, very nice. And my, both my parents were, I would say, loving. And I felt, at 17, I was the most freer woman, girl of any civilization.

In, in, in how many civilizations a girl of 17 can have sex? and ask for a parent to have contraceptive. So I felt very much, I was very lucky. But in the back homes, there was something very dark, very sad that my parents would never say anything about it, and it was surrounding me in silence. The fact that they were both Holocaust survivors, they had a awful childhood and they were prior, for most part of their childhood, they had to be in hiding.

And after the war ence, nobody in the family would say, what happened to the cousin gun pants? and would disappear. It didn't exist anymore. And I was, was, was in that silence. I can't not remember my mother touching me or give me a kiss. or tell me anything. She loved me, I'm sure, I have no doubt, but she was like kept in the caverns where she was hiding as a, as a young girl.

So, um, there was a strange feeling of to be so lucky to be, to be living in such a wonderful environment. And I felt that, uh, I have no, um, why to complain to anything. I was so lucky. I was alive. I could have lunch and dinner every day. I was to this very nice school and again, it could have sex, you know, I could have sex.

So, um, and when I came back from this abortion, I remember my mother didn't say anything to me. She was in her home. And, um, I understand years later that, you know, her cousin, was sent to Auschwitz. She was a very small child and, and not to have, there was a lot of guiltiness and that we couldn't speak about.

So this came in a clandestine way in my childhood. So this scene is, this is a scene you have to, you understand. 

Zibby: So, wait, your, so your mother hid in a convent from when she was how old to how, you know? 

Colombe: You never say how long, you know, but what I know is in 1940, she was eight years old and then she was kicked out of the world.

She was Jewish. So there were no school anymore. She had to find her hide under fake name. Her father lost a job. They have to leave their apartment in Paris, go to hiding in a small town in France and try to survive for five years. And this was the same for my father. But during my childhood, I would never say anything about that.

It would be, they would like a few little sentence, little fiction that could understand that something awful arrived to them, but that's it. 

Zibby: So how did, I mean, you don't discuss this directly in the book. It's through. 

Colombe: Yeah. I think it's, it's, you know, it's, I think it's underneath, I want it to be very precise about the sociological aspect of my childhood growing in Paris, in this neighborhood, the apartment, the decor, the kind of furniture we had, the kind of privilege we had, but I think this story is like, uh, you know, it's, uh, I think in every book you have a secret, something, you know, you don't really, it's there, but it's not there and you have to, and maybe the strength of the book is that it's not, uh, as a nice little bourgeois girl growing up in Paris. Of course, it's like, It's there, but it's, it's something also more tragic.

Zibby: Oh my goodness. Well, it was very powerful. The way you talk about it, the way you talk about remembering the child when you have your children later in life and how old would the child be and all, you know, all of the, how you think about it, you didn't think you would think about it, but it lingers and it's good to discuss it.

Colombe: Yes, I think we all have a tragedy in our life and in the U. S. where there's so many immigrants, you will all leave behind past, language, story, guidance, and most of the time you set up a new life and you have to forget the past, you have to, and it's always there, always surviving us. words, names, photographies, and you, you, um, and many families, you just don't talk about it.

I remember as a child, I was a big reader. I would read anything. And one of my favorite reading, when I didn't have anything to read anymore, I was reading the phone book. And I was looking for names and identity and addresses, because no one in my family would say anything about them. They didn't exist anymore because there was so much shame, so much guiltiness to be still alive and they were not.

And I think everyone can relate to that. Everyone in a family, you have a drama, some, someone would disappear that you try to escape and you never escape it from it. It's all weather. And reading or writing is a way to make peace with your past. 

Zibby: Yes, I can. This will also when we go to the middle story when you talk about your friend It's another way into your family story where you juxtapose her living style your living style like what the differences are and they don't seem It seems so big.

You look the same. You kind of are the same in many ways, but your backgrounds are so diametrically opposed. And how it feels to grow up so closely with someone and then to lose that love of your life. Tell me more about that. 

Colombe: Why haven't you done that? We don't talk about death. We, it's like, uh, in our societies, death is something that we try to forget, that we're not going to, to die.

And when we are close ones who are going to die, who are very sick, usually doctors would say to you, oh, we'll do anything. And the word death is never used directly. You in French you say like the that vitality is in danger or you have worse to to escape to the real world, which is death. And when my childhood friend I knew she was sick and she, it was very sudden, there were no explanation she had cancer in every part of her body.

She told me, you know, I'm going to die, but in the meantime, I'm going to do everything to live. I'm going to travel and to have sex and to, and and she was amazing. And I remember maybe two weeks before she was going to die, we had, uh, dinner together in a cafe in Paris. It's a famous cafe when you have old writers and entire life and, and, um.

She had a boyfriend and she had an ex husband and she was talking about all these two men of her life or she's loved them both. And she was like, still, uh, trying to, uh, make, think of which one I could go with my ex husband I still love my boyfriend was so kind. And she noticed a man in the, in the cafe and she said, oh, this man looks so nice.

And the man was looking at her. She was, he was flirting and she was still, uh, like, it. What do you think of this guy? He's, he's cute. He's looking at me. What do you think? Do you know him? She was like, she knew she had 10 days to live, but she was still thinking about love and sex. And I find that amazing.

But in the same time, we need to have this conversation about that. And I was very anxious. I was afraid to, to speak to her about her death and to speak about love as a way to escape was in front of her. Yes. And, and her adhere to the, to life. And it's so difficult to speak to someone who is going to, to, to, to die and to say goodbye.

I, I, I had this parents once, I didn't do that with my friend Louis, and I regret it because she wanted to, and she needed to and, uh. I think because we never speak about this because there's been something savage, you know, we don't consider that we always put it away and such a good idea. Another friend of mine, a writer I really admire, when she died, she wanted to say goodbye to all her friends.

So I had no choice. I had to go and see her. I remember how frightened and anxious I was back then. before getting in the, in the room of the hospital. And, and she was very calm. She had a makeup, she had a basic pyjama and she was at peace with her own death. And it was an incredible lesson of life. Now you can say goodbye to it.

She, she regret to me, you know, I would like to have a few more years with my husband. I really love, and I have another book to write. So I regret to leave so soon. She was at peace. It's the fact that she was going to die, and it was one of the greatest lessons of my life, yes. 

Zibby: How do you think she got there?

And what did that look like? 

Colombe: Because I think she had a very fulfilled life. You know, she lived to the fullest, like my friend Eloise. Until the end, she was traveling, loving. Uh, making experience, enjoying everything she could. I think that, uh, this is the key. You know, uh, experimenting and thinking about your own death is not something sad, it's something that makes you life more enjoyable and, and fuller.

Zibby: So do you feel like, after that experience, with both of your friends, and I'm so sorry for your losses, I know how hard that is, do you feel like you, uh, were then encouraged to live with more intention? 

Colombe: Oh yes. I have no doubt. Yes, very much. You know, I'm traveling to the U S. And before taking my flight, I went to the cemetery and to see my, she, to see my friend, to, to be on that tour, I'm telling her, I'm going to travel with you.

And she loves going to the museum exhibition. She, she was an art lover. And so I'm going to the exhibition to the match with you. Did you bring the book? I, I didn't bring the book, but I translated it and I went another time to the summit to tell her to give her news about the book about her. 

Zibby: Oh, it's so amazing how important it is to keep people alive, to remember them as people, not just how they died or how, you know, but just to, you know, reincarnate with our, fingertips, right?

It's magic. Really? 

Colombe: Yeah. When people die, they're dead. They will not come back. You know, for my, my parents died quite long and for years, I was living, living this kind of little fiction. They will be, if I'm a nice girl, they will be back. And I was still this their daughter. And at one time I had to realize that I would not come back and I'm an adult.

I'm not their daughter anymore. What they, what they told me and what they gave me is still in me, but I'm my own person. You know, I'm, I'm giving some strengths to them. 

Zibby: This morning, a friend of mine posted something. Can I read this poem from like the 1700s? Cause I feel like it's so on topic for what we're discussing.

My friend Gigi Lavangie lost her husband quite suddenly in his fifties and she posted this poem. This morning. Let me read it to you by Henry Scott Holland, who lived from 1847 to 1918. It's called death is nothing at all. It's short. So I'll just read it. Death is nothing at all. It does not count. I have only slipped away into the next room. Nothing has happened. Everything remains exactly as it was. I am I, and you are you. And the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged. Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. Call me by the old familiar name. Speak of me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference into your tone. Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me, let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was. There is absolute and unbroken continuity. What is this death but a negligible accident? Why should I be out of mind? Because I am out of sight. I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner. All is well. Nothing is hurt. Nothing is lost. One brief moment, and all will be as it was before. How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again. 

Colombe: Yeah, the past didn't change. We have to the past didn't change. Hasn't changed. But life for today, for today, when our close ones are dead, I think we have to accept it's different. They're not here anymore.

They can be in our heart, but we have to face aloneness. It's very cruel, but we have to have a new life, meet new persons. And it's, it's, that is cruel. Yes. 

Zibby: The, you mentioned that the first story about abortion just poured out of you. What about the second and the third? 

Colombe: Well, the second one, you know, that was a book was published in France and I was surprised by the success of it.

You know, I think it was, would be a small story and, and one of, on every woman has an abortion in France and I'm, you know, it's the same in the U S. one on two women as an abortion. And, uh, my producer said, Oh, why don't you write another story? Like an intimate story like that. And at that time I was in love with someone.

He was calm and very handsome. And he was the same milieu as mine, you know, this Parisian bourgeoisie and like we were meant to be. So I told her, you know, I'm going to write a love story, but it's going to be a nice love story. You know, usually when you write a love story in books, The ending is sad or there's some were some obstacles and this one that I know it was easy and wonderful.

So asking, can I write a story about us and said, okay, no problem. You do anything with me. And so I signed the contract for this book. I begin to write it and then suddenly the love story broke, you know. It wasn't the same anymore and I had to write it. So I was kind of desperate to go back to this wonderful past.

We didn't exist anymore. So I went to, to write every day and I was crying and it was very, Awful breakup, but to save myself, I don't know. I didn't think I was, I went swimming because this man was a swimmer and in my, I remember one told me, you know, you have a body too. And I was raised in this family was all education was about the mind To read books and to have good education and the body was something you have to know, take with you somewhere.

It was like, not very smart and you don't speak about it and you don't speak about sport and sports was something for dumb people, you know, you do it only because you need to be in good shape, but there were no intelligence in sport. And so it told me the country, your body is smart. You will see it. It will give you a lot.

And I was surprised. I didn't really believe him, but because I was in love, I would go sometimes to the swimming pool with him. So writing that to save myself, I went to swimming pool on my own. And I was so surprised that I would get, well, they're like three times a week and little by little, I'm a very anxious person, you know, I think too much.

I think about catastrophe all the time. And I feel some appeasement. And I feel some joy and I feel that my body was learning things to me, learning some tricks, uh, give me some help, help me, helping. I was so surprised. And so it became a story about swimming and about my body. You know, when you write, you have an idea, I'm going to write about abortion, about friendship, about love.

but this is a project and your writing show you that you're going to write about something else and maybe you don't know. The writing leads you to another story, to another explanation, to another project and you had no idea you were going to write about that. So I think I would write a story about love or I would write a story about friendship and I'd end up writing a story about my body, about swimming.

about death, about bourgeoisie, about something else. For abortion, I think it was about abortion. And finally, it was about the silence of my mother. So everything, you know, it's, you have to, you follow something and you arrive something else, something, somewhere else. And it's quite wonderful, you know, to be able to accept that and to go to, The past, the path was not explored and you, we, you, you will learn and to learn that I have a body and that a lot of strengths in it.

You know, I'm a woman and I'm small. I'm not young anymore, but when I'm in the lane of the swimming pool, I go much faster than many of the men with big shoulder. And it's quite, uh, it's quite a joy to see them looking at me with surprise. 

Zibby: That's amazing. Colombe, what advice do you have for aspiring authors?

Colombe: I have many. I have many. You know, I've just read about the Claire Messud novel. I haven't read it, but I want very much to read it. I love her work. But for myself, I'm, um, obsessed. Now with posts. And I will tell you that because post is the one who tell you what you live in your life, your obsession, your failures.

You're not alone to give them because it goes directly to the most hidden part of your life. The thing you don't want to think about, you think you shame of and explore them and show them to you. And this was great humor is a very funny writer. So I would advise. you to it post and you will be surprised that that's what you learn about your own life and you lose one.

Zibby: Oh, that is, that is a very French recommendation and it is on brand for your books. Wow. Well, Colombe, thank you so much for your beautiful stories and for putting your heart on the page in, in such a unique voice. Thank you. 

Colombe: Thank you so much. I hope I see you soon. 

Zibby: Okay. You too. Merci. Merci.