Zibby Mag

Book jacket biographies don’t tell us nearly enough about the authors we love. That’s why Zibby Mag launched the Author Snapshot, giving readers an inside look at the lives and work of our favorite writers.

This week we’re spotlighting Tara Schuster, author of the runaway hit Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies and the forthcoming Glow in the F*cking Dark, publishing February 28.

How did you land on the title Glow in the F*cking Dark?

Funny story. I essentially wrote one hundred pages of gunk and gave it to my editor, praying she saw a book in it. Because I didn’t! What she saw was one line, “Are you ready to glow in the f*cking dark?” Once she pointed it out to me, I instantly knew I had a book in me and I knew what it would be about.

What inspired you to turn your journey into a book?

I hate most self-help books. They are super vague with phrases like “let go” and “feel joy.” Cool, cool, cool. But what are steps 1-5 to do either of those things?! And yet, I think we all do need help! So, I wanted to write something that would be helpful to me. What I could have used was a real, funny, messed up friend who didn’t judge me but nudged me towards taking care of myself. So that’s what I hope this book is for readers: a foul-mouthed friend who has learned from living a whole lot of life.

What were some of the signs you saw that made you realize “enough is enough”?

Well, probably having pretty severe and constant dissociative episodes! When I drove, my hands looked they were not mine—like they were hovering over the steering wheel! Have enough of those and you know it’s time to change your life! I felt terrible enough times that I was motivated to help myself.

What was your first step in recovering your innermost self?

Pulling over. I grew up with the creed of hustle: you had to find your meaning in your job, and while you were at it, you had to be up on all the trends, be the best friend to EVERYONE, have a side business, and buy the best direct-to-consumer luggage—all of the millennial tropes. My only solution for any life problem was, “GO, GO, GO, MAKE, KEEP ON ACHIEVING, WOMAN.” But that kind of lifestyle felt bad. Like sandpaper on my soul. So, the first step was to stop trying to fix, stop trying to run, just stop, stop, stop.

What’s the next step for someone who’s wanting to get back into the driver’s seat of her life?

To accept that healing is hard, non-linear, and will take time. There is no quick fix and that as long as you are aware and trying to heal, you are making progress. So, give yourself a little grace when you inevitably stumble. You can’t be “good at mental health,” I’m sorry to say, and there’s no award for “who went the hardest at healing.” It really annoys me but my therapist is totally correct when she says, “the slower you go, the faster you’ll get there.” In fact, many of us have sustained soul wounds because we have been so pushed around for so long. But you can’t find peace by forcing yourself to rush. You can’t find self-love by ceaselessly criticizing yourself. It turns out you can’t hate yourself or rush yourself into mental health. It a rough road and I’m still very much on the journey myself, but wow, can you find more ease, compassion, and steadiness than you ever thought possible.