Zibby Mag

By Ashley Alt

Reee-er, Reee-er, Reee-er, Reee-er.

Do you hear that? That’s the glorious sound of the breast pump. If you’re breastfeeding and/or pumping, you know the horror I’m speaking of — raw nipples and ‘round-the-clock milking.

Ah, motherhood is beautiful. Isn’t that what they say? While that is true, it’s hard to see that new mommy glow when you’re in the throes of newborn caretaking — enduring sleepless nights, inconsolable crying, and unpredictable mood swings — on top of the mental and physical toll you’ve endured with labor and delivery.

Becoming a parent, whether it’s your first, second, or fifth time around, is an experience like no other. While it isn’t my intention to complain about motherhood, it is my aim to tell it like it is. If I’m feeling this way, I’m confident other moms are, too.

That said, here are my tips for surviving (and semi-thriving) when caring for your newborn. Because, let’s face it, the days of maternity leave — while precious and short-lived — are also long and boring.

Have something to look forward to each day.

There are going to be days when you look at the clock thinking it’s time to make dinner only to see it’s barely 10 a.m. Having things to look forward to every day (I call them “little wins”) makes a huge difference in your mood and overall happiness.

For me, it’s watching The Today Show, enjoying a fancy latte, listening to a good podcast episode, having a phone call with a friend, taking late morning walks, and — my personal favorite — savoring a glass of wine with dinner at the end of a very long day.

Get out of the house at least once a day

I can’t stress how crucial this one is. Even if you are leaving the house in your college sweatpants and breastmilk-stained t-shirt, YOU. HAVE. TO. GET. OUT.

Take your baby for a stroll, go for a coffee run, or hit up a local shop (like a market or bookstore) for a welcome change of pace and scenery.

The fresh air is good for both you and your baby, and you will come back to your house feeling refreshed and grounded.

Make plans with friends once a week

Just because you have a newborn doesn’t mean you need to pause the rest of your life for the next three months.

Meeting up with a friend for an hour or so (for coffee, wine, a walk in the park, etc.) is always worth it. Invite someone over for an afternoon so they can hold the baby while you do the dishes. You need the company.

Socializing is self-care, and friends are medicine. Don’t forget it, and don’t underestimate it.

Tell your support system what you need

Is it pasta? A shower? A few hours to go to your workout class and get your nails done?

Whatever it is, don’t feel bad about asking. People typically want to help.

Those little pockets of “me time” are sanity savers, and you need breaks in order to function properly.

Keep a sense of normalcy

If Friday Night Date Night is a non-negotiable in your relationship, keep it going!

If you don’t feel comfortable leaving your baby yet, have a sitter come over while you and your partner eat takeout on the back patio.

Routine is your friend in this sense. It provides a feeling of safety and structure and keeps your sense of identity strong.

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Moms need support when they’re powering through the fourth trimester and all its postpartum glory, which often includes exhaustion, irritability, physical pain from the aftermath of childbirth, stress headaches, and more.

Being proactive about your mental and physical health means everything during this time. All mothers deserve the respect and resources to stay sane and healthy.

Ashley is a writer based in Connecticut specializing in women’s mental health. She believes our weirdness is what makes us great.

If you’d like to keep up with her, sign up for her Mindset Health For Moms newsletter.