Zibby Mag

By Megan Tady

Eight years ago, I received a massage from a grouchy bodyworker. With my face stuffed into the face cradle, the mood in the lavender-infused therapy room was far from relaxing. Sixty minutes later, I didn’t leave feeling refreshed, but I did have an idea for a novel about a disaffected massage therapist working at a luxury spa in Vermont. And I got to wondering: What’s this job really like?

To write that book, which ultimately became my debut novel Super Bloom, about a massage therapist, I’d need to find answers. I began interviewing bodyworkers about the ups and downs of their profession. Beyond life’s typical struggles, what else might have been bothering my massage therapist on that particular day? Quite a bit, as it turns out.

Being a massage therapist is hard work—it’s a uniquely intimate and physically taxing job set in a tiny room. While the massage experience—darkened lights, soothing music, flickering candles—invites clients to unwind and destress, it also tempts all sorts of odd behavior that would be unimaginable in other professional settings, like in the bank teller line, or at a doctor’s office.

During our conversations, bodyworkers recounted stories that ran the gamut from heartwarming to hilarious to kind of hideous. That’s when it dawned on me: we need to be better massage clients. Many people assume that a good massage is simply up to the therapist, and the job of a client is to merely lie there, blissed out. Sort of true. But the more we can see a massage as a mutual exchange, the better our experiences will be—for us and the bodyworkers.

Here are eight ground rules that will make you a better massage client:

No stripping.

Only undress when you’re alone in the therapy room. Just because you’re comfortable with your body doesn’t mean your massage therapist wants to see you in the buff. Stephanie Rodriguez LMT, and CEO of the United States Organization of Licensed Massage Therapists (USOLMT), created rack cards for her clients, reminding them: “Do not remove articles of clothing while your massage therapist is in the room, and abide by state laws that require draping (covering with towels, sheets, and/or blankets) during your session.” At the same time, she tells clients, “You have the right to stay fully or partially clothed during your massage, according to your comfort.”

Stop prying.

Massage therapists are at work. You wouldn’t ask your dentist or doctor a slew of personal questions about their private lives, so you also shouldn’t snoop about your bodyworker’s life either. Dana O’Neill, a LMT at CLINIC in Northampton, Massachusetts, says, “While I’m happy to share my professional experience and or training, I feel it’s important to keep our session as quiet as possible. And I want to maintain the understanding that while this is a personal exchange, it feels safer if it’s understood to be therapeutic in nature. Mutual respect is the foundation of trust, which is essential in a bodywork session.”

Speak up about pressure.

Your massage therapist wants immediate feedback, rather than reading your Yelp complaints and learning that you weren’t happy after the massage ends, so don’t be bashful if you’re seeking something different, even mid-massage. At the same time, bodyworkers are the experts, and although you might request harder pressure, they can often tell what your body or injury needs. Jessica Kern, LMT, owner/founder of Goldfinch Physical and Mental Wealth, Inc., says, “One of the coolest things that happens when you speak up: you give yourself and your massage therapist the opportunity to collaborate on your care. That alone can lead to new insights. You will not hurt the feelings of a skilled practitioner: we want to know, and every time we receive feedback we learn and improve.”

No texting while facedown.

Your hour-long massage is not the time to catch up on your emails. Even if you leave your phone in your bag, turn it off. Your therapist doesn’t want to hear it chime and ring throughout your session, plus it’ll distract you from truly unplugging. “Most people come in very tense and stressed,” says David Goryl LMT, a bodyworker in Los Angeles. “I invite them to put down their phone and allow themselves the opportunity to disconnect from life and technology for our short time together. They can truly be present, and to accept and receive the work.”

Don’t relax.

And by that, I mean: don’t pop muscle relaxers or pain medications before your massage, as they can mislead you into thinking that deeper pressure is okay for your body when it’s not. “A lot of times clients will take muscle relaxers or pain killers before a massage because they think it will help get better results from their sessions,” says Brittany Purdy, LMT of Crescent City Massage in New Orleans. “Pain meds…could cause a client to believe deeper pressure is helping while it’s actually creating more inflammation, which can then lead to more injury.” The same can be said for alcohol, so refrain from imbibing before your massage. “With alcohol, the client won’t feel pressure in the same way,” Purdy says. “And massage can quickly make you more intoxicated because it increases circulation.”

Talk moolah.

Talking money is always a little squeamish, but it’s perfectly acceptable for you to discuss massage rates and tips openly with your bodyworker before your session. Tamara Cornehlsen LMT at CLINIC says, “If you are unsure about tipping protocol, just ask us! It is much more comfortable for everyone if the topic of money is openly discussed. If you are seeing a massage therapist at a spa or a chain establishment, they usually only get paid a commission (sometimes as little as 30% of the service price) and deserve a tip if you are happy with the service they provided. If you are seeing a self-employed massage therapist setting their own rates, a tip is likely appreciated but not expected. There is no need to pile feelings of confusion or guilt on top of the hopefully blissful state.”

Sick? Stay home.

Canceling last minute on your bodyworker is a big no-no: if you don’t show, they don’t get paid. That said, reschedule your appointment if you’ve got a bug. “We cannot work if we catch a client’s cold, fungus, strep throat, etc., and would rather lose the money from one appointment than a whole week’s income or more,” Purdy said. “I can’t tell you how many times a client has come in with achy muscles. They’re burning hot when I touch them, so I take their temperature and find out they have a fever. Then I need to cancel the session and send them home.”

Come clean.

Every therapist I spoke to stressed one thing: bathe before your massage, and don’t forget about those feet! Bodyworkers are accustomed to working on all sorts of bodies—they just request that you be clean.

Megan Tady‘s debut novel Super Bloom features a sometimes-grumpy-but-loveable bodyworker fighting for her job—and better industry practices—at a luxury spa in Vermont. She also runs the copywriting company Word-Lift. Her writing has appeared in The Huffington Post and Ms. Magazine, among others. Super Bloom is out now with Zibby Books. She’s working on her second novel, Champions for Breakfast, publishing in 2024, also with Zibby Books. Megan lives in Western Massachusetts with her family.