I Wanted to Be Wonderful

"Gut-wrenching, powerful, lyrical, achingly raw . . . Lihi Lapid's I Wanted to Be Wonderful will make every woman feel seen, even when she is hiding. Following the lives of two women in the early years of motherhood (one is the author herself), Lapid doesn't miss a beat in her deeply honest, provocative exploration of motherhood, parenthood, womanhood, and marriage. Ultimately, Lapid teaches women that when we finally let go of all we've been carrying—we stop leaving pieces of ourselves behind. Brava!"
—Lisa Barr, author of The Goddess of Warsaw

"Lihi Lapid's new novel, I Wanted To Be Wonderful, is, quite simply, wonderful. Sharply observed, deeply felt, subterraneanly witty, and scrupulously told, it tracks in fine detail, sometimes painfully, the lives of two charming and prickly heroines, as they navigate life with small children. Riven by guilt and held (by whom?) to superhuman standards, the women find themselves at crosshairs with their husbands, ships passing in the night. They want the men to help without being asked. Their men for their part, would help if their wives asked. The killer line: 'And their bed is more full of children than sex.' This book deserves a wide audience but I recommend it particularly to new parents, fathers as well as mothers, so they might see how the other half lives."
—Susan Rieger, author of Like Mother, Like Mother

"A propulsive, vulnerable look at motherhood which dispels the notion of happily ever after and strips away the dishonesty of illusory worlds. Lapid, wrestling with life's curveballs, reveals that little islands of beauty can be found in the landscape of disappointment and loss—if one looks within, rather than towards the horizon. An aching look at the heartbreakingly heart-filling role of becoming and being a mother."
—Rachelle Unreich, author of A Brilliant Life

"Lihi Lapid devastatingly describes the unraveling, and ultimate rebuilding, of a woman in the throes of early motherhood. In her reflection of that exhausting time when joy is often tinged with sadness from the burden of everyday life (compounded by a child with special needs), she realizes that in giving so much to others, she lost her sense of self. Her book is an important reminder that while we want to be wonderful, being good enough is all that matters."
—Rebecca Wolf, author of Alive and Beating

"Unflinching, remarkable, and deeply human. A clear-eyed portrait of marriage, motherhood, and what it means to love. I couldn't put it down."
—Lauren Aliza Green, author of The World After Alice