Zibby chats with Rebecca Gardner, founder and creative director of the online shop Houses & Parties, about her dazzling new book, A SCREAMING BLAST: Exceptional Entertaining, a vibrant journey through twenty of her most fabulous parties. Rebecca shares stories from her South Texas upbringing and her path into event and interior design. She also talks about working with inspiring figures like Sofia Coppola, the influence of her grandmother’s hospitality, and her philosophy that “celebrating is really, really important in life.”

Transcript:

Zibby: Welcome Rebecca. Thank you so much for coming on Totally Booked to talk about a Screaming Blast. Exceptional, entertaining, which is not only fun and beautiful and immersive to read and devour these pictures, but also just as an art object itself, coffee table, wherever this book multifaceted. So there you go.

Rebecca: I'm so glad to be here. Thank you. 

Zibby: Okay. Tell listeners, I already read your bio, but tell listeners a little more about you. I know you included a lot in the book about your Texas upbringing and how you fell into this line of work and all of it. Um, but just give a little backstory as to how you got here and then why the book.

Rebecca: Sure. I am from South Texas, which is a really quirky place to grow up and part of being from a small town in south Texas is making your own fun. So I have been planning parties with gusto, excitement and uh, tenacity I guess since I was a little girl planning ridiculous birthday parties, you know, for myself. I lived between Savannah, Georgia and New York City, and I have a company called Houses and Parties, which is like, um, it's a three ring circus.

We do interior design, event design, and then I have an e-commerce shop, which sells things we call unnecessary for memorable occasions. So things like Happys, you know, and so I'm, I'm thrilled to be on here and to talk about my book. This is the first thing that I've done for this book, so. 

Zibby: Oh, yay.

Rebecca: This is, this is the first sort of star or a piece of glitter falling out of the box that I sent to you. 

Zibby: You have a Forward by Sophia Coppola, and then you tell us how you ended up meeting and how you're walking over and being like, oh, it's me, you know? Got you. The, the, the, 

Rebecca: I know only in New York City, right?

Yeah. I just always. Like so many women in particular, I am such a fan of everything that she creates. Um, she really is sort of an inspiration for beauty and femininity and creativity, and also tenacity, you know, in her work and a couple of months maybe it was December, I got a call from her father's office and he wanted to buy Christmas gifts for his daughter and that was its own sort of story and experience, which, you know, kind of made me grow 12 inches taller. I was excited just to get a phone call from Francis Ford Coppola that made me feel really good about myself. Um, and then a couple of months later, like in it, not at the height of COVID, but you know, it was winter, so maybe it was a year, but everyone was.

Still very much masked and careful and I went to Via Carota near my apartment in the West Village and she has a house nearby and it was towards the end of our meal and I had like purple wine teeth and I was buzzing with the excitement of the new season and I looked over and sort of, you know, in New York you don't.

Really think so much about seeing a celebrity. But God, Sophia Coppola, I mean, my toes were curled with excitement. I could barely walk and before I said a word to my table, everyone leaned forward and said, don't do it. Don't do it, Rebecca. Don't do it. You know? And I thought, well, the hell with all of you. And I was sort of, um, encouraged by all this delicious red wine I had been drinking for probably three hours at this point.

And I went up to her table and said, Sophia, it's me. You Know? And I had a full COVID era, you know, mask, and her handsome, equally talented husband stood up, sort of like with chivalry, but also concern. And I kept going like, it's me, Rebecca and she kind of smiled and said, oh. How was your dinner? You know, something very perfunctory and I kept going and going and going.

And finally I pulled my mask off and said, you know me, Rebecca. And she still had no idea who I was of course, why that would make any difference. And anyway, she did fit, we did finally get to the part that I owned, houses and parties where she shops and it wasn't a week later that, um, Toma called me to do her birthday party.

So, you know, that's the Texan that is in me and it doesn't always translate to New York City, but I did get what I wanted, you know? 

Zibby: There you go. So maybe it's translated just fine. 

Rebecca: I won't ever do it again. I mean, I woke up at 3:00 AM just hating myself. You know what, what have I done? I've humiliated myself, but, um, she is so gracious and yeah, I, I was so honored to do that party for her and even more so, um, that she wrote this forward for my book. I, I kind of feel like, like Mary Tyler Moore, you know, in Times Square with her beret, like the, the, that was my Mary Tyler Moore moment. 

Zibby: It's amazing. I love that story. 

Rebecca: Only in, in this crazy city.

Zibby: That's right. Tell me more about your grandmother, Nini and her influence on you. 

Rebecca: Oh, that's so sweet. Makes me kind of teary. She was very hardworking and very thoughtful and very sweet. She also was a force, you know, and it was not until way after she had passed away that I learned that her mother had been in a car, had started a catering business like out of, out of sort of traumatic events that had happened in her family.

And so I didn't realize that, and it's something that I'm very proud of to come from, you know, a line of women that can make a silk purse out of a sow's ear and I find it very interesting that no one really ever talks too much about that. But when I was cleaning out, you know, storage units after really after my father died, I was cleaning out storage units of my grandmother's and I found these huge cake pans, like, you know, for Paul bunion, I can't even imagine how big the cake would be.

And I thought, what in the hell are all these giant cake pans? And, um, I really learned the scope of what my great-grandmother had accomplished. You know, really at a time where women, particularly in South Texas, weren't doing things like that, or a lot of them weren't. Um, so I'm really proud of that. And my grandmother, my grandmother entertained beautifully and she kept a really elegant, but mostly comforting house that was always orderly and stocked and ready to open its doors to friends and family and all sorts of black sheep that trickled in over the years. My grandfather was a doctor and there were people coming in and out of South Texas all the time just because of its bizarre location, sort of at the bottom of the boot.

And because her house was always ready, I experienced a childhood where like Sunday suppers could include people from really all over and that was a really nice lesson. She made a lot of effort and not just for people that she was trying to impress, but really for family and, um, it made an impression.

I'm grateful for it, probably more as an adult than I was as a young girl. 

Zibby: Oh, well it's so wonderful to have uncovered this treasure trove. So, um, so it was wonderful to read about when you talk a little bit about how you went from idea to building your business. I realize that could be like a five hour long conversation, but just how did you take something that you were good at and turn it into something sustainable and impactful with multiple layers? Because it's one thing to plan a beautiful party and it's another to know and scale that. Tell me about that. 

Rebecca: Well, I think with parties in particular, it is so much a part of my personality and my passion, and it's my love language, It's my gift, it's my excitement, and people that know me really well would tell you that even on a rainy day or on vacation or in a normal conversation on a Wednesday night I always have an idea for a party, and to me it's about, I think that celebrating is really, really important in life. I think that life could be a bowl of oatmeal if it weren't punctuated with celebrations, and I think that the necessary effort, no matter how much you actually do yourself, I mean, I have a whole chapter called you don't have to make it to make it happen.

So they're all different. They're all different levels. But I think that gathering people, um, that you love or you want to love or that you know really well, or you wanna know or you wanna introduce to someone else is so, so important at any level. And I think anytime you gather, it's a party. And I feel really, really strongly about that, that that effort is really necessary to punctuate life with memorable occasions and I have done that my entire life. Like even in college, I would have parties in my nasty dorm room with solo cups full of cheap champagne. And so it was, it was a no brainer. I worked at this wonderful art school called the Savannah College of Art and Design, or SCAD for almost 10 years, and I met all these incredible artists and really learned how to collaborate and commission and work with artists, which is a, a very specific set of negotiation skills, you know, especially young student artists, you know, and it was a natural step for me to do interiors and events when I started my own business. And it was really, it was really the events that took off and I, I had sort of a glamorous, smart, and glamorous client that said enough with the interior design, especially if you're gonna be working in New York City, there are so many fabulous interior designers, but there are not a lot of great party planners, and I listened to that advice and, um, there's so many talents in New York, um, like there were at this art school where I worked that it's, it's kind of a magic wand, hippity boppity boo experience to, to create an environment and an experience in New York City with all these incredible artisans.

Zibby: Amazing. And what about the shopping piece of it? 

Rebecca: Housesandparties.com, which is the e-com site, was my COVID baby. So when all of the interior projects we're put on hold and, um, no one was planning parties for a really long time and a lot of the parties that I do are for like luxury brands, you know, who are going to be particularly careful years and years into the, the pandemic, rightfully so.

And so, it was either like I was gonna work at J Crew or I was gonna start this, you know online shop and we sell beautiful things. Everything from Imas china to queefer COT silver, beautiful vintage things. But what brings me the most joy or the silly things that I think can really, um, make a party fun. I mean, I could go on and on with flowers and decor and candlelight and beautiful champagne. But ultimately, if it's not fun, you've failed. Um, so the things that I am proudest ever, like the party crackers that have crazy giants, you know, paste jewelry inside or long red presses on fingernails or, you know, silly things. With this book, we launched a screaming blast collection, or we will in September, which will have awards ribbons, like senior superlatives.

So if there's a lull in the party, you can, you know, award someone best dressed or most likely to go home early or you know, whatever. So we sell everything from crazy party hats to beautiful sterling silver. 

Zibby: I love that. It's so fun. 

Rebecca: That was a long answer. I'm sorry.

Zibby: I love the long answers. I'm just. 

Rebecca: Yeah, it's fun.

Zibby: You know, it's, I'm curious about how it all happened and hearing your story. I find it really interesting, especially as somebody who loves throwing parties now. I don't design them. I, I don't, I'm not like you. I'm like, sometimes like just a couple flowers. It's like, great, I'm done. 

Rebecca: But what, what is your go-to party format?

Zibby: I prefer lunch. I love lunches. 

Rebecca: Interesting. 

Zibby: I get tired. 

Rebecca: Why? 

Zibby: I am an early person. I get up early. I, I'm like dead by, you know, 10, like I like to eat dinner at six. So anyway, for lunch, I'm not stressed. I'm at my best and I know they're not gonna go forever because everybody likes to move on with their day.

So that's my, probably my. 

Rebecca: Do you entertain at a restaurant or at your house? 

Zibby: No, at home. 

Rebecca: What do you? 

Zibby: Usually at home. 

Rebecca: Okay. 

Zibby: Yeah. I love people from author gatherings where it's just like little bites to having a group of friends over or whatever. What's your favorite? 

Rebecca: I like a big cocktail. I'm the opposite.

In fact, like I have a text chain that is titled The Ladies Who Don't Lunch, so I'm your opposite. I like a cocktail buffet where you can invite tons of people and you don't have to be so strategic as far as seating and you know, strong drinks and easy one fork sort of supper where you can perch and move around and escape if you need to.

I like that versatility. It would work for someone like you too, Zibby if you started early, because you can dip. 

Zibby: Yes. I don't mind a cocktail hour. I don't mind dinner. I mean, I like all of the things I like, you know, I'll have a dinner party now and again, not often, but I don't know if there's a thing.

But yes, I've, and yeah, cocktail parties are also really fun. You're right. It was very fun. 

Rebecca: Well, in the south we have a cocktail buffet, which is actually dinner. 

Zibby: Yep. 

Rebecca: But, you know, served from the dining room. They don't do that so much in New York, but, but. 

Zibby: But they should. 

Rebecca: It does give you versatility and protection.

Zibby: Yes. Yes. How did you go about, wait, well, let me talk about your design aesthetic for a second, because all of these pictures are so rich in color, lighting, layers upon layers, like the tables are full. Like, tell me how to even articulate the way you design. 

Rebecca: Well, when you're talking about a seated dinner and, what people call table scraping, I do think that that's a special gift to give someone like 24 inches with the person chosen across from them to their right and to their left.

You know, we were sort of dissing on seated dinners earlier, but it is an incredible gift because it's so much work and, and thought it's like an introduction, you know, to, to new people. And so I like for guests to be totally enchanted when they sit down at their place and for each one to have beautiful candlelight in front of their face, and a little surprise, which could be a plastic dinosaur peeking from under a geranium leaf. I like it to be an immersive environment. So we always think about what's on the floor, isn't it. Piles of sawdust or sod or, I mean, at Carnegie Hall we had like landscapers say, fall leaves for us and we put them all over the entrance so that when guests were crunching over them with their Manolos, they really felt like they had been dropped into Central Park.

But I am definitely a maximalist and, um, that's sort of the hairspray Texan in me, but I don't think that parties are a time to be edited. They should feel generous and unabashed and comfortable and, you know, I do tell clients that hire me to design parties for them. The first thing that I say is, I am not the monogram on the dance floor, floral arch, you know, party planner.

I want guests to walk in and squeeze someone's hand and say. "Damn, I'm going to have a great time. This is so creative." As opposed to, I wonder what they spent on flowers. You know? To me that's a huge fail. So I think weird twisted surprises and unabashed generosity should be reflected in the environment. 

Zibby: I love that.

And you translated that into a book so well with these just fabulous double page spreads and all the different types of events and little backstories on all of them. How did you pick which parties to include? Is there something that you wish had gotten in or something you threw late that like, oh, if only I could sneak it in now?

Rebecca: Oh yeah. I mean, my favorite party is always the most recent one that we've done. I worked with this amazing book designer named Celia Fuller, and she was my number one choice and I was very, very lucky to get to work with her. I think she did a really good job, and I went to Cravit, the fabric manufacturer.

Zibby: Mm-hmm. 

Rebecca: The Cravit offices where they have these insane archives boxes and boxes of fabric memos from the forties, fifties, sixties, seventies, and dug through those with such excitement. I mean you can't even imagine. So Celia helped me to pair these prints with the images, and I think that that, I mean, again, more is more, you know, that that layered on just sort of another excitement in color punctuation. 

Zibby: Love that. Will there be A Screaming Blast 2? 

Rebecca: Uh, yeah. Maybe. Maybe. 

Zibby: Awesome. 

Rebecca: We'll see. 

Zibby: Amazing. 

Rebecca: But we have all these great shoots because my shop is, because my shop is online, you don't have that yummy experience of walking into a retail shop. Um, so I was really determined when we launched, which again was during COVID that we had visuals that felt special and exciting and um, you were excited to scroll and click on photos. So I'd love to do something with all of those, you know, so it's like a, a old fashioned retail experience, but all visual. Um, I think it's such a shame there aren't as many wonderful shops anymore. 

Zibby: You must have done popups somewhere.

Are you doing any upcoming in New York? Where can I shop? 

Rebecca: Yeah. Yeah. We did one last year at Veronica Beard and the year before that we did one at Carlisle. I'm not doing one this year because I'm just working like a dog on this book tour. I mean, you can't even, Ima, I'm gonna have to put Vaseline, you know, on my teeth like a beauty queen from smiling so much.

Um, but probably next year we will track you down. 

Zibby: Okay. 

Rebecca: For your luncheons. 

Zibby: Yes, exactly. What, what is something totally you that you are doing to launch this book? 

Rebecca: Well, I'm very excited that I had a party dress made out of the bargello fabric that's on the cover. 

Zibby: Yep. 

Rebecca: And we are launching a whole bunch of crazy party hats.

We work with this amazing milliner. He's in Tel Aviv. His name is Mayor Zabar, and he makes incredible hats for us that have been sort of a house and party statement from the beginning and this year we really went wild and we will launch this whole collection in September. And then I'm excited about the Screaming blast collection, which will have a lot of, um, we call them suzzies, so they're just little sweet things. So it might be, um. Like, have you ever played? Would you rather. 

Zibby: Mm-hmm. 

Rebecca: So it's like a printed, would you rather engraved, you know, place card. Or Another thing that we're selling are these buttons of truth, which are ridiculous giant pink buttons that you put sort of at the front of a function where guests can choose their own and they will say things like "zaddy" or "divorced" or "voracious reader" or "going home early" or whatever, so that when you go, especially for a function where people don't really know each other, it immediately gives you a silly thing to say, and some of them are outrageous and positive and some of 'em are provocative. So things like that. I'm really excited to see how people respond.

Zibby: I love that. By the way, I've been rethinking my answer. I mean, I still hold on to my lunch, but I'll explain why more, which is that I don't like to leave my kids at night 'cause I'm divorced and remarried, so when I have them I stay home. So I think on a night on, on the majority of nights when I have my kids a lunch is my answer.

I'm gonna just say it like that. 

Rebecca: Okay, good. 

Zibby: Okay. 

Rebecca: Okay, good. 

Zibby: Okay. Because now I sound totally unfun and I mean, I'm not super fun, but I do, 

Rebecca: I'll be the judge of that Zibby. 

Zibby: Okay. Okay. 

Rebecca: I'll be the judge of that. 

Zibby: Okay. Who is somebody in your line of work that you have? Thought is like a mentor or somebody that you are like, if only I could be like blah, blah, blah.

Rebecca: There's an amazing photographer, primarily a fashion photographer named Tim Walker, and I follow him like a hawk. I mean, I would love to just be like, honey, I shrunk the kids and live in his brain. He is a constant source of inspiration for me. Sophia Coppola, I think is a master of environment and emotion and events are really live theater.

In a way, especially big ones. 

Zibby: That's great. 

Rebecca: Yeah. 

Zibby: Awesome. 

Rebecca: On, on, on a bigger field. I mean, I also work with the most amazing talents every day that only make me look good, but that list is so long. Yeah. But it's in the back of my book. One of the things that I, I'm really proud of or excited to share, maybe not proud of, is this list of resources in the back of my book were, I mean, some of them, you know, like Cravit or whatever, but others are the best place to get a caramel cake, the best person that can embroider, linens the best place to have simple invitations made, and that brings me great joy and makes me feel good to, to, you know, scream their name like from the top of the mountain. 

Zibby: You are a screaming blast blasting their names.

Rebecca: Yeah, exactly. 

Zibby: Okay. 

Rebecca: I am getting these emails from people that have gotten books that are like, I'll be screaming, I'll fall, and I'm screaming right now, and I thought, oh God, I didn't want to be a megaphone. 

Zibby: You'll be intimately acquainted with that word. So there you go. 

Rebecca: Yeah. 

Zibby: Rebecca it was so lovely to meet you. Thank you so much for coming on.

Thank you for the joy of even just escaping into the pictures in this book. So, and the words, of course. So thank you so much. 

Rebecca: Thank you, Zibby. I'm really flattered to be included. 

Zibby: Oh, it was my pleasure. All right. 

Rebecca: Bye. 

Zibby: Take care. Bye-bye.